Roys dirty little secret
by OhDangRawr
Summary: Roy has a girly side. Will anyone ever find out about it? Does Riza know yet?...Ed knows something that no one knows...will he spill the beans?
1. Chapter 1

Roy walked into victorias secret looking for a "special gift" for Riza. It was her birthdayand he wanted to give her something to wear. He browsed through the different sorts of underwear hanging on the wall. he picked up one of the pairs that caught his attention. It was red and skimpy and had feathers hanging off the sides._Damn she would look goooood in this!_ Roy thought as he looked at the price tag. "39.99!" He was shocked at the price on this but who could put a price on love. He quietly chuckled to himself. Roy walked over to the cash register with the item in his hand. He heard the teenage girls chuckle behind him.Then he reached the register and the old lady quirked and eye brow.

"getting something for a special lady?" she said.

"mhhmm"Roy managed to mumble as he anxiously waited to get out the store.

Finally the old lady handed him the pink victoria bag and he headed for the door._ Shes gonna love it._

He finally got out of the mall and headed for the his red car. Then he was on his way home.

(At Roys house)

Roy sat on the couch staring at the pink bag with gold lettering._Maybe I should.Rkza will never know..I think... its not like anyones gonna see anything...its still wrong..._Roy argues with him self till he finally reached the conclusion then he got up and reached into the bag and pulled out the secret inside. Then he walked over to the mirror and unbuttond his pants.

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If i get 10 GOOD comments then I will continue with the story. 


	2. Chapter 2

Roy pulled down his pants then his boxers. He pulled the peice of lingere out of the bag and closed his eyes. He slowly slid it on. Roy forced him self to open his eyes and look. To his surprize, it fit! and it looked pretty good on him too. He scanned himself up and down then turned around to check out his backside._Damn this looks good. _He thought to himself as he was interupted by a loud knock at the door.

_Knock_

_Knock_

_Knock_

Roy panicke. He didn't know who it was and he surly didn't want anyone to see him like this. He quickly picked up a towel and put it around his waist. Then he opend the door. It was Ed.Before Roy could say anything, Ed shoved a stack of papers at him and let himself in.

"Happy know? You got your fucking reports ontime!" Ed sat on the couch.

Roy didn't know what to say.

"Don't you have somewhere to be?" Roy said trying to hold the towel up.

"Nope." Roy said quickly, then he noticed the victorias secret bag by the mirror. "why do you have that bag?"

Roy could feel his face turn red.

"wha-what bag?"Roy studderd.

"that bag". Ed got up and walked toward the mirror.

"oh! that bag!". Roy laughed nervously. "thats for Riza."

Ed picked up the bag and opend it, trying to find the peice of lingere. ""oh really? then where is it?".

Roy shruged.

"Mustang, what are you hiding from me?" Ed quirked and eyebrow at Roy.

"Nothing Ed. You ask tomany questions for someone as short as you."

Ed exploded. " WHO ARE YOU CALLING SOMEONE SMALLER THAN A FLEA, THAT EVEN A FLEA COULDN'T STEP ON AND SQUISH!"

Roysmirked at Ed and then turned around, crossing his arms across his chest.

Ed growled and cirlcled around Roy trying to figure out what Roy was hiding.

"you're checking me out?" Roy said with a smirk.

"EWWWW! no!". Ed yelled.

"The why are you looking at me?" Roy asked trying not to smile.

There was a long pause of awkward silence then Ed finaly said. "I'm not leaving till I find out what your hiding". The Ed sat back down on the couch and flipped on the TV.

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Well this is Chapter 2.

Thanks for reading. Oh and sorry for the bad grammer.


	3. Chapter 3

**Roy Just stood there holding up the towel around his waist. He was getting very impatient and the one thing that he wanted right now more than anything was to have Ed go away. But all that Ed did was continue to flip through the channels and glace at Roy every once in a while. Roy was sick of it. He had enough of Ed ruining his good moment.**

**Roy threw the papers on the floor.**

**"GOD DAMN YOU ED!"Roy yelled and stomped out of the room and slammed his bedroom door behind him.**

**Ed quietly snickerd to himself.**

**Roy leaned up against the wall and sighed to himself._ Thank good,finally, a moment alone..._He dropped the towel on to the floor and layed down on his bed. He closed his eyes.**

**Meanwhile, Ed sat on the couch trying to find something to watch on TV. He finally gave up after the third time going through all the channels. He got up and walked over to the fridge. He opend it. All he say was a half empty bottle of beer, some old pizza and something that he couldn't quite figure out. But Ed almost gaged when he saw it.**

**Ed walked over to Roys bed room door.**

**_KNOCK  
KNOCK  
KNOCK_**

**Roy almost had a heart attack, He did'nt expect Ed to come knocking on the door,.**

**"Hey Mustang!"**

**Roy groned."What is it now?"Roy stood up and started putting on a pair of jeans, forgetting about the peice of lingere that he was wearing.**

**"you have no fucking food ,Mustang"**

**"Does it look like you're in a resturant"**

**There was a a pause of silence.'**

**"Rooooy?" Ed whined.**

**Roy opend the door.**

**"What do you want!"Roy started to get annoyed.**

**Ed smiled. " Take me out to dinner.'**

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**OOOO i bet you can't figure out whats going to happen next!**

**Well, I'll give you a hint:**

**Two guys at a restrant.**

**Something is seen and reported.**

**Someone looses something important to them.**

**GOOD LUCK!**

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**I'm sooo sorry for the bad spelling and grammer **


	4. Chapter 4

**Roy blinked.**

**"Take you out to dinner?" He chuckled."Now why would I ever do that?"**

**A smile came across Eds face as he looked up and down laughing.**

**"You would'nt want me to tell any one that.." Ed started laughing before he could finish the sentence." That you wear girl underwear."**

**Ed fell on the floor laughing as roy blushed and looked down seeing a price tag for Victorias secret hanging out of his pants. Roy quickly ziped up his pants and grabed Eds arm, Pulling his out the door.**

**"Come on, We're going out to dinner."**

**-----**

**While in the car, Roy did'nt look at ED. He just stared straight not saying anything. The whole Drive was quiet. Roy pulled up into the parking lot and Ed quickly got out. He ran over to the drivers door and opend it.**

**"Here ya' go my lady." Ed started to laugh.**

**Roy gave him a disgusted look and got out.**

**At head quarters, Riza headed out the door. It had been a long day at work and all she wanted to do was see her father. He had called earlier and told her that he was going to take her out to dinner at the local dinner. Little did she know, that Ed and Roy were going to be there.**

**Ed walked in followed by Roy. Theye both sat down at a booth as a young waitress came over to give them their menus. She handed Roy a menu and he smiled at her. Then she handed Ed a menu then turned back to Roy.**

**"Your son is quite adorable, How old is he?"**

**Ed turned red. "HEY IM NOT HIS-"**

**Roy kicked Ed in the knee before Ed could finish.**

**"Oh." Roy chuckled. "He's not my son...I'm babysitting for a friend. His mothers in the hospital."**

**Eds mouth droped open. Roy had just lied to get a girl.**

**The waitress made a sad face at Ed.**

**"Aww, poor thing."**

**She turned back to Roy.**

**"I'll be back in a few minutes to take your orders."**

**"Okay then." Roy winked at her and she walked away.**

**"WHAT THE HELL WAS THAT?" Ed yelled, slamming his fists on the table.**

**Roy raised an eye brow.**

**"You were flirting with thr buss lady."**

**"so?" Roy said innocently.**

**"You're with Riza!"**

**Roy just picked up his menu and didn't say anything. He felt alittle guilty after that.**

**As Ed picked up the menu, He noticed Riza walk in the door._ Hahaha perfect time to get revenge on the lie, Roy told the waitress._ He grabbed a fork and "accidenly" droped hit under the table.**

**Roy looked up from the menu.**

**"Oops, my bad."**

**Ed droped down under the table.**

**-----**

**Riza noticed Roy sitting at the table. She started to walk over.**

**----**

**Ed could see her walking towards them from under the table clothe.**

**"I can't find it!"**

**Ed quickly yelled to Roy.**

**"Look harder."**

**"I'm trying!"**

**"Try harder"**

**Ed tried not to laugh. "Try what?"**

**"Harder."**

**"What?"**

**Roy lost his patients.**

**"HARDER, GOD DAMMIT!"**

**"What harder?" A woman said.**

**Roy froze and looked up. He blushed.**

**"Oh, Hi Riza...Didn't expect to see you here."**

**Riza looked mad.**

**Ed poped out from under the table smiling.**

**"Hey Riza." Ed smiled.**

**Thanks for reading, Im looking forward to writing the next chapter!**


	5. Chapter 5

**"What was that all about?" Riza said, putting one hand on her hip.**

**"Ed droped his fork." Roy said in his normal tone.**

**The young waitress walked up to them.**

**"Ready to place your orders now?" She noticed Riza. "Oh." She blinked then looked at Roy. " You didn't tell me you were meeting someone."**

**"He wasnt." Ed said quietly to himself.**

**Roy looked at the waitress then stood up. "This is Riza...she's a...friend."**

**Riza turned red with anger. "Just a friend? We've been going out for three months and this is what i get?"**

**"What are you talking about, Darling?"**

**"Darling?" The waitress said in a jelious tone.**

**Riza looked at Ed.**

**"Ed, tell me whats going on..I promise I wotn get mad at you." She gave Roy a glare.**

**Ed thought or a lie.**

**"Well, I went to Roys house, He played dress-up...and...then we went out to dinner and met the waitress."**

**Ed leaned over and whispered in Rizas ear.**

**"I think they like each other."**

**Rizas mouth droped open, then she stood up and stomped out,slamming the door behind her.**

**Roy quickly stood up.**

**"WHAT THE HELL DID YOU TELL HER?"**

**Ed tried to act innocent and looked down.**

**"I-I just told her...the truth."**

**Roy slammed his fists on the table.**

**"WHAT THE HELL DO YOU MEAN "THE TRUTH"?"**

**Ed stood up. 'Well, if you hadn't been flirting then we wouldn't be in this mess!"**

**By then they were inches away from face-to-face.**

**There was silence and then Ed walked out.**

**"where do you fucking think your'e going?" Roy asked.**

**"I'm taking the buss home."**

**"You can't do that!"**

**Roy got infront of him.**

**"Watch me!"**

**As Ed tried steped off the side walk he slipped landing right ontop of Roy. Roy looked up at Ed as got up, still sitting on Roy-Not knowing what had just happened or what to do.

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**Next chapters probably going to be on monday...so yeah...so sorry for mispelled words.**

**thanks for reading.**

**-adios**


	6. Chapter 6

_Ed blushed as he sat on Roy, then slowly got off and dusted himself off. "Well, that was interesting."Ed put his hand on his hips and smiled."Good thing you were there, I could've gotten seriously hurt!"_

_Roy stood up and smirked. With out saying anything he got back in the car. Ed continued to walk to the nearest buss stop._

_Roy sighed. "Im sorry for yelling, Ed, Let me take you back home..."_

_Ed stopped at remembering that there was something that Roy was hiding, And that he still didn't know what._

_"Okay.." Ed said as he quickly got into the passenger side of the car._

_15 Minutes passed as they drove down the road to Roys house. No one said anything until Ed broke the silence._

_"SO...um...you know how it's Lutenent Hawkeyes Birthday?"_

_"Yeah.." Roy tried not to look at Ed._

_Ed smiled. "what did you get her?"_

_The car came to a quick stop as Roy started to blush. He knew that Ed knew something, but he didn't know what." I got her...a gift that only I know and that you will NEVER find out..."_

_Ed rolled his eyes."Okay...what ever you say, colonel."_

_They pulled up into the drive way of Roys house. Roy opened the door, expecting Ed to go home. But all that Ed did was walk into the house and sit once again on the couch._

_Roy walked into the kitchen to make a phone call. He decited that it would be best if he just sent Riza some flowers and a box of chocolates. He didn't want to give her the peice of lingere that he was wearing. It was comfortable and he looked so damn good in it. And after all, She was probably mad at him after the little "incident" during breakfast._

_Ed noticed the victoria secrets bag in the corner of the room. He woundered if it could be the gift that Roy got Riza. What else could it be for. He picked up the bag and opened it, discovering that it was empty. That disapointed Ed. He walked into the kitchen where Roy was making the phone call. He sat down at the table and placed the bag on it._

_Roy didn't notice..._


	7. Chapter 7

After placing tht phone call, Roy hung up the phone, startled at the sight of Ed, just sitting there...with the bag.

Roy thought quickly then put his hands on his hips. "Don't you know that it's rude to go through peoples things?"

Ed opened his mouth to talk, but was quickly interupted by Roy.

"Especially when your not even an invited guessed!"

"But...one question.."Ed said quickly before the colonel could interuped once more."Wheres the stuff inside the bag?"

Roy could feel his cheeks turn red and looked away. "I don't know...there should be something in there..."

"But theres not.."

"Oh well.." Roy walked away to get a glass off orenge juice, but at the same time that he was about to pour the orenge juice into the glass, Ed through the bag at him, cuasing the orenge juice to spill on Roys pants.

'Bullshit!' Ed yelled as he got up.

Roy blinked as he looked down at his orenge-covered pants.

"This is all bullshit!" Ed yelled in annoyance. " I know damn well that you know where the stuff in the bag is! And your going to tell me no matter what, colonel!"

Roy didn't know what to do. He could either tell Ed the truth,That he was wearing it. Or he could make up some sort of lie.Or even better, He could change the subject.

"...I have to go change.." And with saying that, Roy walked out of the kitchen and into his room, where he put on a loose fitting pair of jeans over the peice of red lingere. Then he checked over himself in the mirror just to make sure that the lingere was unnoticeable, then he walked back out.

Ed sat on the couch, reading through a magazine that he found laying around then looked up at Roy as he walked in.

Roy kept having to pull up his pants, do to the loosness of them.

Ed grinned and tried not to laugh." Geezz, Colonel, those pants make you look 10 years younger!"

Roy glared at Ed for a moment Then yawned and streached for a few seconds, forgetting about his pants. Then before Roy could stop, his pants slid down below his hips, exposing the red lingere.

Ed froze and stared in shock as Roy looed down and pulled his pants up, blushing a bit.

Then Ed fell off the couch, laughing his head off.

"Oh My God! Colonel! I didnt know you had a feminin side!" He continued to laugh.


End file.
